Does Anyone Every Really Change?
All of my life I’ve heard the cynical philosophy “no one ever really changes.” While I know from my own life experience and that of the thousands I have worked with that this philosophy is absolutely false, it’s easy to understand why so many believe it to be true. How many times in your life have you heard someone excitedly declare, “I’m going to accomplish that or I’m going to change this–you just wait and see.” And then, more often than not, the excitement fades, the commitment wanes, and the individual continues on in life pretty much as they were before. Thus the perception, “No one ever really changes.”
The reason this happens is not because people don’t have a strong desire to change or achieve goals, or that they necessarily lack self-discipline or determination. The reason we often fail to bring about desired changes in our lives is because we misunderstand and violate the brain’s basic principles for change. We usually get excited and try to change all at once–right now! But this isn’t how we developed our existing habits and behaviors, so how can we expect to develop new habits with a quick fix? When we try to speed up what the brain does naturally, and violate the principles of change, the brain rebels and fights desperately to keep what it has worked so hard to build over time–our existing habits.
So how do we change? How do we achieve previously unachieved goals? How do we start thinking and behaving differently than we have in the past–in ways that create the ideal life we dream of? The process is really very simple, and once you understand it and experience success through its application, you will begin changing and achieving your goals and never look back. The key to harnessing the principles and power of “brain change” can be found in following your Success M.A.P.
M.A.P is an acronym for Motive, Awareness, and Practice. Your Success M.A.P. follows the latest cutting-edge brain science of positive change.
Motive: First, you need a clearly defined and articulated why–a powerful motive that you can clearly visualize and see in your mind’s eye.
Awareness: Next, you need to interrupt your automatic habits, behaviors and thought patterns–in other words you need to switch off the auto-pilot and become skilled at “thinking about your thinking.” Another way of saying this is you need to become more aware.
Practice: How does a person become skilled at something; reach a desired destination; achieve a distant goal? All at once in one big impressive step? No! It takes small, daily steps toward your desired goal, consistent progressive practice–not all at once, but just little victories each day.
Let me give you an example—we live in a time when many people are deeply in debt and living beyond their means. One of the great challenges we face today is our seeming inability to save money. So, applying the M.A.P., how does one move from over-spending to saving.
First, you need a motive. Let’s assume that you desperately want to purchase a new dining room set. You find a picture of it in a catalog and you make multiple copies. You place one of these on the wall of your dining room next to the raggedy worn-out old table and chairs. You put one on your refrigerator, on your bathroom mirror and by your computer. The point is, you clearly visualize the new table and chairs sitting in your dining room. You admire how wonderful they look, and you especially feel the joy of your whole family gathered around the new table having a meal together conversing and enjoying each other.
Now, with your motive clearly established, where do you get the thousand dollars needed for the purchase? This is where daily awareness and practice come in. You determine that if you were to take a sack lunch to work each day and only eat out as a family one night a week, you could save approximately $100 per month. In 10 months, you will have $1000 for the purchase of the new dining room set. As you’re preparing for work in the morning you see the pictures and visualize your family seated together at the lovely table. Your automatic urge or habit is to rush out the door and worry about lunch later. Instead, you interrupt this robotic behavior and you take the time to make a lunch. That night when you don’t feel like fixing a meal and automatically start to head out the door for fast food, you interrupt the process and eat at home. Each day, you take the money that you would have spent on lunches and fast food and you put it in a jar where you can see it accumulating a little at a time. These little victories start to build your belief–and you discover that one of your brain’s principles is “success breeds success.” The more you do, the more you can do. Before you know it, 10 months have passed, you empty the jar drive to the furniture store where you experience the joy, deep satisfaction and sense of accomplishment that you pay cash for the beautiful dining room set.
You see, people really do change, goals can be achieved–all you have to do is stop trying to override what your brain does naturally—have a clear, powerful motive that you visualize every day; interrupt your automatic thoughts and behaviors; and take small consistent daily steps toward your goal. Follow your M.A.P. and success is guaranteed!
